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I Am In Control by Tony Calabrese

'I write because I am a writer, and I just cannot seem not to.' ~D.S.L.

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Posted: Wednesday, May 29, 2013

by Tony Calabrese
Absolute Transitions

I AM

A few weeks back I had the opportunity to attend a workshop for coaches in New York City. The topic of the workshop was on the practice of coaching. Our presenter covered many aspects, from what it means to be a coach, to co-creating the coaching relationship with clients, to what surveys are showing about the effectiveness of the coach/client relationship on clients being able to move their life forward. At one point during a break in the presentation, two of the coaches present wrote the following two words on a flipchart that have stuck with me due to their impact. The words were simply “I AM”.

I AM was written in 3 distinct ways. In addition to the 2 words in quotes like I just did above, it was written in the form of an equation reading, “I + A = M”. The other way it was written was with a word for each of the letters. The letter “I” was equated to the word “Intention”. The letter “A” was equated with the word “Attention”. The letter “M” was equated with the word “Manifest”. When put back into equation form and using the words provided the equation reads, “Intention + Attention = Manifest”. To me that is a powerful equation.

Many of us have dreams of what we would like to accomplish. Often they are not easy to reach. However, while our abilities may sometimes keep us from reaching our dreams, I would offer that more times than not, it is more internally what is not inside of us than what is on the surface that holds us back. The surface or external can be learned. It may mean taking courses to learn skills that we do not have. It may also mean hours of practice to perfect our skill at a craft or activity. It may also require the realization that there may need to be perseverance to overcome obstacles, and there may not be immediate success on initial attempts. However, with time, commitment and practice, many of those initial obstacles one faces can be overcome.

However, only you are in control of the “I AM” portion of your life. You are the one who sets the “intention” of what it is you want to accomplish and to what it is you want to put focus on in your life. When I made the choice to move into coaching a few years back, I did so with the intention of being able to help others move their life forward, while at the same time realizing that in doing so, I too would get benefit from the concepts and methods I would learn. Once setting that intention, I learned ways I would have to focus my “attention”. In the beginning there were certification classes to take. As I became more experienced I learned that attention took the focus of such activities as networking with other coaches, doing the writing I do through such vehicles as a monthly newsletter and weekly blogs, and looking for opportunities to increase my knowledge through attending continuing education classes, conferences and readings. The combination of my “intentions” and my “attention” to detailed steps began to “manifest” itself in the form of working and succeeding with one to one clients, being an ambassador for the practice of coaching through leadership roles in my local coaching chapter and receiving positive feedback on the articles I had written from those who found them helpful and informative. The formula continues to hold true, as this year I look to add more aspects to my practice through the leading of support groups and combining my coaching with my expanding networking skills to be a resource of support for those in transition.

Even the most optimistic of us can have our times of discouragement, where we may lose our way and get down on our current life circumstances. However, remembering those two simple words “I AM”, and what is contained within them is a powerful tool for getting oneself back on track. Try it the next time when you want to “manifest” that which is important to you in your life. Tony Calabrese of Absolute Transitions provides suggestions, approaches and information on how you can find a new job, move up to a new position, or change your career. To get his free report, "Overcoming Obstacles to Change Your Life" visit http://absolutetransitions.com/. This Article has been viewed 531 times. (Not updated in real-time.)No comments yet.
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Gun control in Japan vs. U.S.

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Can stiff penalties control banks?

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Number of fines imposed on banks has remained constant for a decade, but fines' value has grown faster than inflationSilva asks: Are U.S. regulators using financial penalties as a method of indirect regulations? And will it work? American regulators have unique views on how to run banking and have tried to influence global regulationsU.S. wants banks to assume Iranians are guilty until proven innocent, rest of the world wants the opposite, Silva writes Editor's note: Ralph Silva is a financial services specialist and managing director of Silva Research Network, with over 24 years of global experience mainly as an investment banking professional.

London (CNN) -- UBS to pay $1.5 billion over Libor manipulation, HSBC paid $1.92 billion for failing to stop money laundering, Standard Chartered paid $667 million, ING, $619 million, Credit Suisse, $536 million, ABN AMRO $500 million and the list goes on and on.

While the number of fines imposed on banks has remained constant over the past 10 years, the value of fines has grown considerably faster than inflation. One has to ask, therefore: Is this the new norm? Are U.S. regulators using financial penalties as a method of indirect regulations? And will it actually work?

American regulators have unique views about how to run a banking industry, views that often differ from their global counterparts. The latter, by and large, have a hands-off approach to an industry that is globally focused.

The U.S. has tried, on countless instances, to influence global regulations. But it has been to no avail. The financial services market outside the U.S. is bigger than the domestic market.

So, if Europe or Asia decides on its own path, the U.S. has very little power to stop it.

It's therefore not unreasonable that the U.S. regulators impose different oversight on foreign banks than domestic equivalents. This is likely the reason we've seen fines of considerably higher value imposed on non-U.S. banks for similar infractions.

Read more: Eurozone still has mountain to climb

Sure, some U.S. banks have seen fines in the hundreds of millions: Bank of America, JP Morgan, Wells Fargo come to mind. But the vast majority of U.S.-based fines are small. You would be forgiven for thinking this is discrimination. It's really indirect regulation.

If a U.S. bank breaks rules, it is relatively easy for U.S. regulators to march into their offices, take all the material they need for an investigation and then dictate policy for the bank.

In the case of a foreign operation, they can't do that. The U.S. authorities have no rights to material held in foreign offices. Further, once funds leave the U.S., they are often irretrievable without political help.

This is the reason why global financial services regulations are necessary and inevitable, although decades away.

By fining at the billion dollar level, banks wishing to operate within the U.S. will be encouraged to be far more carefully than domestic operations. This is exactly what the U.S. regulators want.

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This means global banks have to operate an infrastructure for U.S. rules and a second infrastructure for the rules of other regulators. The costs are high and the risks are many -- and banks simply don't want to do it.

In the end, it's not going to work. The U.S. can fine HSBC or UBS all they want, these two banks are incredibly strong and can easily afford it.

But what about troubled banks, or ones like government-owned RBS? If they were to levy the same fines for these banks they could put them out of business.

If a bank of RBS's size went under, it could cause economic instability in its home country. The government would have to get involved. And fining them a lesser amount for the same infraction would not go down well with HSBC or UBS who would most certainly send a thousand lawyers to Washington to ask why they were discriminated against.

After all, you get a $100 fine for going 20 miles over the speed limit if driving a Ferrari or a Ford.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Ralph Silva.

December 21, 2012 -- Updated 0252 GMT (1052 HKT) Some believe the world will end Friday, the last day of ancient Mayan calendar. Mayans, or at least those living in Merida, Mexico, don't buy it. If the world's about to end, what would be your last meal on Earth? Feast your eyes on the most popular choices.December 21, 2012 -- Updated 0627 GMT (1427 HKT) People in a tiny French village are hoping to profit from the end of the world predicted for later this month. Jim Bittermann reports. Bushmaster corporation: If you buy one of their semi-automatic rifles -- like the kind Adam Lanza used -- "Consider your Man Card reissued." December 20, 2012 -- Updated 2149 GMT (0549 HKT) The evolving face and story of Aesha, disfigured by the Taliban and featured on the Time magazine's August 2010 cover, has captivated the world.December 21, 2012 -- Updated 1051 GMT (1851 HKT) ITN's Alex Thomson gains rare access to accompany the Syrian army in Daraya.December 20, 2012 -- Updated 1218 GMT (2018 HKT) India's rape cases, one every 22 minutes, betray what's wrong with society where millions believe women invite trouble by being careless.December 20, 2012 -- Updated 0159 GMT (0959 HKT) If that office on Wall Street has been illusory, a Victoria Harbor view from Hong Kong's skyline may be the place to find yourself in a few years.December 21, 2012 -- Updated 1016 GMT (1816 HKT) CNN's Fred Pleitgen on the first museum exhibit on the biblical ruler of Judea.December 20, 2012 -- Updated 1116 GMT (1916 HKT) Sudanese government has been bombing and spreading terror in the South Kordofan state, surgically cleansing the land of the Nuba people. A gunman opened fire in a Connecticut elementary school on December 14, killing 26 people -- 20 of them children. Learn more about the victims.December 19, 2012 -- Updated 1549 GMT (2349 HKT) With a death-defying leap, a hot novel and the U.S. election -- 2012 has been an incredible year. Watch the highlights in CNN's video mash-up. 2012 is a big year in horse racing as 6 million people head to the track. The rise of celebrity horses Frankel and Black Caviar creates a buzz. Today's five most popular stories

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President Obama to reveal thinking on gun control

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NEW: The White House has said Obama supports reinstating the assault weapons ban NEW: A police honor guard and an overflow crowd pay respects to teacher Victorio Soto Three students and a teacher will be buried on Wednesday A bill in South Carolina would allow teachers to be armed in school

(CNN) -- With the shock and horror from Newtown giving way to anger and calls for action, President Barack Obama will announce his first concrete steps Wednesday in addressing the raging debate about gun policy.

Obama plans to announce that Vice President Joe Biden will lead an inter-agency process to develop policy in the wake of the Connecticut elementary school massacre.

White House aides say Obama won't announce major policy decisions Wednesday, but he will outline his administration's path forward.

"These tragedies must end. And to end them, we must change," Obama told a packed auditorium at Newtown High School on Sunday.

"No single law, no set of laws, can eliminate evil from the world, or prevent every senseless act of violence in our society. But that can't be an excuse for inaction," he said.

Obama vowed: "In the coming weeks, I will use whatever power this office holds to engage my fellow citizens -- from law enforcement to mental health professionals to parents and educators -- in an effort aimed at preventing more tragedies like this. Because what choice do we have?"

Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-California, has said she will introduce legislation to reinstate the assault weapons ban that expired in 2004.

White House spokesman Jay Carney said the president supports that effort.

The "complex problem" also calls for "engaging mental health professionals, law enforcement officials, educators, parents and communities" to find solutions, he said.

Obama also wants to close "the so-called gun show loophole which allows people to buy weapons without going through the background checks that are standard when you purchase " them retail, Carney said.

Meanwhile, heartbreaking funerals continue in Newtown. Those being buried Wednesday include several more students and a beloved teacher.

They are among the 27 people killed when gunman Adam Lanza shot his mother four times in the head before shooting his way into into Sandy Hook Elementary, opening fire on staff and students no older than 7. Lanza then killed himself.

The question of what prompted the rampage continues to elude investigators.

So far, they have been unable to retrieve data from a computer in Lanza's home, a law enforcement official said Tuesday.

The gunman apparently smashed the computer and extensively damaged the hard drive, the official said, adding that the FBI is assisting Connecticut State Police.

Authorities have said the shooter took three of his mother's weapons -- two handguns and a Bushmaster AR-15 rifle -- to the elementary school.

The National Rifle Association commented Tuesday for the first time since the massacre, saying it was shocked and heartbroken by the tragedy. The group is planning to hold a news conference on Friday.

"Out of respect for the families, and as a matter of common decency, we have given time for mourning, prayer and a full investigation of the facts before commenting," it said. "The NRA is prepared to offer meaningful contributions to help make sure this never happens again."

Gun debate intensifies

While the NRA has been largely quiet, the national debate over guns is reaching a new high -- some calling for stricter control, others for more access.

"In the state of Texas, with our concealed handgun license, if you have been duly backgrounded and trained and you are a concealed handgun license carrying individual, you should be able to carry your handgun anywhere in this state," Gov. Rick Perry said Monday at a tea party event. He later added that he was referring to public property.

Meanwhile, Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder vetoed legislation that would have allowed those licensed and trained to carry concealed pistols in schools and other public places, his office said Tuesday.

Citizens across the country are also weighing in, particularly on social media.

Bill Mingin's gun lay under the floorboards of his attic for 40 years, he said in an iReport.

"I thought I needed it 'just in case,'" the New Jersey man said.

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"So I smashed it with a sledge hammer, and threw it in the river. No one will ever be hurt with this deadly toy. Let's get rid of the guns. Let it start with mine."

Others say future tragedies can be avoided by arming teachers.

A bill introduced in the South Carolina legislature Tuesday would allow school employees with concealed weapons licenses to carry guns at schools. The bill would require those workers to be certified as marksmen and use only breakable bullets to avoid ricochets.

The debate has also sparked fierce dialogue at times.

Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America, said if more guns had been at Sandy Hook Elementary School, most victims would be alive.

"Since we have concealed carry laws in all of our country now, people can get a concealed firearm. And yet we have laws that say not in schools," Pratt said. "And so in the very places that have been sought out by monsters such as the murderer of these adults and children, we're saying, 'No, we don't want you to be able to defend yourself.' It's better that you just sit there and wait to be killed. And we find that morally incomprehensible."

CNN's Piers Morgan questioned whether more guns are the answer in a country with more than 300 million non-military firearms. He also challenged Pratt on the issue of high-power assault rifles.

"Post what happened at Sandy Hook, your answer to this problem of repeated use of this weapon with these high-capacity magazines is to continue letting Americans buy them with impunity, and to not concern yourself with these mass shootings, is that right," Morgan asked.

"The 2nd Amendment means what it says, and meanwhile, you want to continue laws against self-defense," Pratt responded.

A long series of final goodbyes

Back in Newtown, bereaved family members buried loved ones.

Victoria "Vicki" Soto, a first-grade teacher who tried to shield her students from bullets, was among them Wednesday.

A police honor guard saluted her casket as bagpipers played outside the Lordship Community Church in Stratford, Connecticut. The church set up more than 100 chairs outside the building to accommodate the overflow of people paying their respects.

"She would not hesitate to think to save anyone else before herself, and especially children," her mother Donna has said of Soto. "She loved them more than life, and she would definitely put herself in front of them any day."

Soto, 27, wanted to be a teacher since she was 3 years old.

She "instinctively went into action when a monster came into her classroom and tried to protect the kids that she loved so much," cousin James Wiltsie said. "We just want the public to know that Vicki was a hero."

Seven-year-old Daniel Barden's "fearless" pursuit of happiness earned him ripped jeans, his family said.

Taking after his musician dad, Daniel formed a band with his brother and sister, playing the drums.

"He embodied everything that is wholesome and innocent in the world," Daniel's family said.

Caroline Previdi's relatives also will say their final goodbyes Wednesday.

Even after her death, 6-year-old Caroline continued to touch the lives of others. A Facebook page called "RIP Caroline Previdi -- Sandy Hook Massacre Victim" had more than 5,400 "likes" on Wednesday morning.

Charlotte Bacon was another 6-year-old whose life was cut far too short. Charlotte, a beaming bundle of energy under bright red curls, also will be buried Wednesday.

The black hearses with caskets will continue driving though Newtown for days to come.

CNN's Jessica Yellin, Dave Alsup, Susan Candiotti, Sandra Endo and Daphne Sashin contributed to this report.

Watch CNN's LIVE TV coverage of the Connecticut elementary school shooting as the story continues to unfold. Details continue to emerge about what precisely happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Here is a timeline of events that compiles the latest reporting. An interactive tribute to the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. December 19, 2012 -- Updated 1517 GMT (2317 HKT) Amid the chaos that first-responder Ray Corbo witnessed on Friday, there is one image that he will never forget.December 19, 2012 -- Updated 1436 GMT (2236 HKT) If you're wondering who else in the United States might fit a "profile" of becoming a mass killer, just look around: They are everywhere, and they're most likely harmless.December 18, 2012 -- Updated 2037 GMT (0437 HKT) Black vans with tinted windows took the place of school buses carrying dozens of elementary school children. December 18, 2012 -- Updated 1537 GMT (2337 HKT) Friday began with the mundane. A chilly December day, Christmas on many residents' minds.December 18, 2012 -- Updated 1530 GMT (2330 HKT) Placing yourself in the path of flying bullets to protect innocents. It's a job description fitting for a soldier or police officer, but not for a school teacher.December 18, 2012 -- Updated 1519 GMT (2319 HKT) Ken Henggeler poured his grief into the thing he loved most: carpentry.December 19, 2012 -- Updated 1432 GMT (2232 HKT) Bob Skuba is a whirl of energy. Outspoken, loud and opinionated, he's the embodiment of East Coast bravado. December 17, 2012 -- Updated 1045 GMT (1845 HKT) Robbie Parker has a message for the family of the gunman who killed his 6-year-old daughter and 19 of her school mates. December 19, 2012 -- Updated 1541 GMT (2341 HKT) As the nation sent up a collective wail of grief over the 26 people slaughtered, the nation's leading gun rights lobby remained silent, until now. December 17, 2012 -- Updated 1949 GMT (0349 HKT) Security experts predict what comes next: A strong reaction -- maybe an overreaction -- to school safety. And within months, it'll be back to cuttign security budgets.December 17, 2012 -- Updated 2111 GMT (0511 HKT) Learn how to help the victims and families affected by the Connecticut school shooting tragedy.Today's five most popular stories

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Thoughts of gun control in Japan

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